


His Story

by BabylonSabby



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ancestors, Angst, Biblestuck, Death, Gen, M/M, Philosophy, Sadness, anyone who needs it., but things get even more complicated when revolutionaries are involved, feels jams, i ship signless/disciple/psiioniic in a poly relationship anyways, meta??, psychic fortelling, revolutionaries that want to change the way the system works entirely as it is, so that pale love can be given to anyone, spirituality, to make the world a better place, very pale romance but also maybe red, with trolls quadrants are deep as shit anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabylonSabby/pseuds/BabylonSabby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Psiioniic loves the Signless. He cannot describe this love, he only knows it's there. And the only thing he wants to do is make the man happy. The man who saved and changed his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Story

I knew no name. I had no name. I was not a person when the Signless found me and liberated me. I was simply known as the Psiioniic. But I was not alone in that. He had no name, either. And if he did, he never revealed it to me. The entire commune was a mixture of named followers still learning and titled veterans who had been with the family for quite some time. We were vagabonds, the lot of us. Wanderers. All we did was flit from place to place. And no matter the population, the Signless was there to teach. There to speak his honeyed words unto the masses. I was always listening and absorbing those words. For they were unlike any I had heard before. And they shook the very foundations of what it meant to be an Alternian. What it meant to be a troll. Everything I ever knew he came and flipped upside down. And I loved it.

He flipped other things, too...

I'd had no matesprit. No moirail. No quadrant filled at all when he came along. And afterward, it felt as though all of them were covered in one go. How was that even possible?! How did he even do that? But there it was.

I didn't fight it.

I loved him.

I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on him that I was going to love only him and no one else. He gave me the ability to love others as he did. And I wanted to, I really did. I wanted to be like him. To be filled with his wisdom and be able to act on it and teach it the same way he did. But I couldn't. I was weak. I was fragile. And you don't just march into my life, pluck me from my squalid beginnings and expect me not to worship every inch of you. Especially when you're so radiant. And he was. He was radiant. He had a bright, pulsing fire about him. It was soft and gentle now, but I knew it was eventually going to turn into a raging inferno. I just didn't know why.

For the time being, I took advantage of that little fire, breathing in its softness. He was alight and I knew the reason why. Nobody shined like that without reason. And the longer he allowed me to remain by his side, the more I began to know why. I began to understand.  
The visions came.  
They filled me in.  
They enlightened me.

That's when I learned that the delicate fire he was absorbed in was going to turn into something that would infect the entire world. Like a cancer.

He was destined. He was doomed. And if I stayed with him...I was doomed, too.

There was one night he came to my tent. I knew there was no going back. I knew I wasn't going to leave. I knew I belonged to him. I told him so.

"I didn't take you so that you could make a slave of yourself to me," he said. "I took you so that you could be free."

I smiled at him. I couldn't speak for a long time. All I could think about was that I was going to lose him eventually.

"I am free. I've never been more free than I am right now. I choose you, Signless. Do with me what you will. There's very little I wouldn't subject myself to for you."

He shook his head smiling in turn at me.

"Just...if you survive me, if you out live me...Finish what I couldn't, alright? You and my beloved both. Together."

I knew what he was asking. We weren't going to be just a platonic pair preaching the gospel of the mutant renegade. We were going to be a mated pair. He wanted us to take care of each other in his absence.

"I wouldn't leave her side for a moment, Signless, you know I wouldn't."

My voice was creaking with worry. I didn't want to think of them, but the visions were filling my head. Memories of them.

"I know. That's why I wanted it to be you."

Now his own voice was cracking. His eyes were even filling up with tears.

"I don't want to leave you," he said. "Either one of you. I love you!"

There were very few times I actually saw him break down and weep before me. Nothing got to him like the inevitability of his own demise.

"It's not death that frightens me," he continued. "I just...Wherever I go, what ever I do, I want you to be there. I love my people. But in this race...there's nothing to make me feel like one of them. Like I belong with them. I'm always apart. I'm always the Teacher. Never the student. Never the listener. I'm not the carpenter building the table on which you eat your food. I'm the Signless. I'm doing this for them. So that they can keep living their lives, but living better ones. Happier ones. I want a happier, peaceful Alternia."

He was getting frantic now and I stayed still in the search for something more. Something his eyes might give to me.

"But there's something else, isn't there?" I murmured. "Something more. Something you're not getting."

He nodded, but hesitated at first. His eyes even took a while to look at me.

"Sometimes I miss being young again. I had no future. No destiny. No responsibility. If I was one of them, all I'd have to was mind my business, hope to grow old, and die. But from day one I wasn't ever going to get that chance. I was a mutant blood. So I decided that if that was how it was going to be, I'd use it. I'd use it to make a point. To spread a message. I couldn't be the only outcast out there. I couldn't be the only victim. I knew my voice would be heard. I had one. So I was going to scream. I was going to yell!"

There was the fire. There it was! But this was only a small solar flare compared to the vast explosion of destructive, creative matter I was to witness in the future.

"...Master..." I uttered.

His eyes were beautiful to me. They were fierce, like a warrior's. I always thought the red was perfect. It stood for power. It stood for passion. It stood for rebellion. And it ran through his blood like lava. His gaze bore into me and he was as silent as a calm sea.

My words fluttered out with apprehension. I wasn't used to having his full attention like this. I wasn't used to being the Speaker. But here I was...about to teach him something for once.

"I think if you had been born like everyone else, the life you've known now wouldn't exist. You wouldn't know me. You wouldn't know the Disciple. You probably wouldn't even know the love of the Dolorosa. You wouldn't have the adoration of so many people who have felt your pain and understood your anger. Yes, change isn't going to happen over night. But it's...something. It will do at least that. Something. Your sacrifice...it's not in vain! It means something, Signless. It means something, if anything...to me. I'm going to die, too, one day. And when I do, it will be with you in my heart."

He was sniffing, his gaze darting away. He was breaking and trying very hard not to let go.

I shuffled up from my cot on the ground and scooted towards him, eventually taking his head into my arms and resting it against my chest.

As I cradled him there, he shattered.

"I know you're afraid," I said softly, running my fingers through his hair. "I'm afraid, too. The children in us never really go away. But...as much as I wish there was another way, it's like you said. There cannot be great change without great sacrifice. And there can be no greater sacrifice than this."

He looked up into my own face now, his speckled with moisture. My eyes must have been dead to anyone else, but he could see the melancholy in them. The somberness of my features. It was quiet...and accepting.

"If the Condesce and the highbloods turned open ears to your message, it would be a different story. But it's not. They're going to kill you...And there's nothing we can do about it."

"And you? What will happen to you? My God, I've brought you to your own oblivion!"

He was becoming somewhat frantic again, but I shook my head and stroked the side of his face to calm him.

"I accepted that a long time ago. I was raised to resign my personhood to death...or worse. But at least this way, if it comes to that, I can face it knowing that I helped you. I walked with you. I talked with you. I understood you. I helped pave the way for a more beautiful, more...free Alternia. I'd ask you if it was enough, but I already know the answer. Sure, we could turn back now, but nothing would change. We'd still meet some sort of grisly fate, no matter how much we tried to silence ourselves and hide out in what peaceful lives we could find. It's this...or nothing, master...Signless."

Once again my fingers ran along his scalp and I could feel him melt against my abdomen. His emotions were feverish and hot, wearing him down. I imagined he was close to sleep just then.

"You're right," he said. "It's this or nothing. And it was written in the stars. Has been since the beginning. So it shall be."

"So it shall be."

I was a hypocrite. I just let the movement move forward and onward, speaking with the confidence he often did, when inside I wanted it all to end now so I wouldn't have to feel the pain and fear anymore. I'm sure he was thinking the same thing. He was a person after all.

Some said he was a demi-god. Some said he came from Heaven.

But I knew better. None knew him like I did. None saw him as I did. He was one of us. We were like him. He was just a man trying to pull us up and out of the dirt, out of the grave we were buried in. As he did for me.

"I'll help you, Signless," I continued. "I'll help you save the world."

"I know you will," he whimpered. "I know."

I wanted to kiss him. I did. I brought his mouth up to mine as if I would drink from a dish of water offered to me in the desert. I didn't care what it meant. I only cared that I loved him.

He didn't stop me. He, too, had a parched mouth.

We were both lost and dirty vagabonds in a desert. And this was our resting place.

"They'll see you as something else entirely," I murmured against his lips. "But I'll always see you as...one of them. The common man just trying to live. The man fighting for his life in the pursuit of happiness. The pursuit of...justice for him and others like him. That's all you are. That's all you'll ever be."

He smiled. It was a cheeky smile.

"You don't worship me? You've done it before."

Indeed, I did once. I worshiped his body with my hands and my mouth. He didn't mind so much at the time.

"I was new, then. New to you. New to the movement..."

My voice trailed off. Part of me was still that young, new recruit. Part of that wonderlust never died. It was still thriving inside of me. Yes, I did worship him. He was average, like me, yes. But I couldn't sit here and deny that he was so much more than that, too.

"I know you don't like to hear it," I said as I shook my head slightly. "But you are all that and more. You have feelings like the rest of us, yes. But you...Signless, you are our savior. You're a king, but not a king of any kingdom. Just the king of our hearts. Mine included. You've saved us all from a life of starvation. We were lacking in a bountiful field of love and you came from out of nowhere and gave it to us. Signless...you were needed."

"It's so easy to twist that visage, Psiioniic. So easy to make me something that I am not. Don't lost hold of that."

"Oh, I won't," I chuckled. "It's the ones you will be leaving behind that I'm worried about."

"...I'm worried, too."

His eyes looked away. We both knew how easy it was to take such a peaceful man and make of him a dictator. A religious fanatic. Signless was neither.

"Alternia won't do it. But Earth might."

"Earth?"

"It's far beyond us. My visions have shown me."

He smiled again.

"My influence goes that far?"

"In a sense, yes."

"This is what my death causes...This is how long the movement lasts..."

"It's reborn, Signless. The movement is reborn. And so shall we be. Where there is hurt and suffering, we'll be there. Remember this when the time comes."

I don't know if he did or not when the end finally came.

He was so vividly angry. It was called the Vast Expletive. It was so raw and so powerful, full of so much hurt, that I couldn't see if he was aware of it or not. He wanted so much for them. So much. And they weren't getting it. They weren't understanding his message. They weren't taking his words to heart. The Condesce and the highbloods needed it the most...and this was what they did to him. This was their response. To kill him.

But when I heard his last, dying words I understood.

This wasn't just another sermon.

This wasn't a rant in a fit of rage and frustration to cull the suffering he felt inside.

This was a message to the spirits beyond. This was the speech that was going to put him on the map for all eternity. This was what the stars had been waiting for. This was the stuff angels were made of.

"I forgive you," he uttered. "I forgive you!"

Forgiveness...as he struggled against his shackles.

Love as he gave us all one, final smile.

And finally, peace...as he relinquished his life to the void.

That was my Signless. This was his story.


End file.
